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Finding That Christmas Feeling
December 20, 2005
I'm having trouble, with all that is going on in the world and around me,
finding Christmas this year. Post hurricane homelessness/joblessness, continuing
war, Happy Holidays -vs- Merry Christmas, Nazi Skinheads rioting and counter
demonstrations, the media inundated by commercialism, and yet there's hope
welling deep within me for us all.
I well up at stupid (censored) all the time, like a friggin Christmas episode of
Bones,
or any other Christmas oriented show that happens to pick the scab off some
unknown sore I've got festering in me. Damn it! I miss my Dad, can't see Keely
and Jennifer, Riley or Bryce (Grandchildren), and don't see Brooklyn enough.
What the hell is the matter with me?
I want so much for all my children, for Grandma, and still need so much for
myself. I pray for peace in the world yet find little within myself... an
anxiousness manages to creep into the crevices. It seems it's like this every
year, and then there comes that moment when the light shines in the dark and
there is rest. What can I do different to change it for me and others around me?
How can
I show the nativity?
Then it comes in small doses, in sharing a movie or meal with the kids, cooking
with Mom, looking around me for reasons to celebrate. The news gets worse,
strikes in NY, plane crashes, and God forbid I'm so sick of hearing about that
bitch Katrina. And then I stumble across a gem and find some peace:
Amazing Peace: A Christmas Poem
Amazing Peace: A Christmas Poem
By Dr. Maya Angelou
Thunder rumbles in the mountain passes
And lightning rattles the eaves of our houses.
Flood waters await us in our avenues.
Snow falls upon snow, falls upon snow to avalanche
Over unprotected villages.
The sky slips low and grey and threatening.
We question ourselves.
What have we done to so affront nature?
We worry God.
Are you there? Are you there really?
Does the covenant you made with us still hold?
Into this climate of fear and apprehension, Christmas enters,
Streaming lights of joy, ringing bells of hope
And singing carols of forgiveness high up in the bright air.
The world is encouraged to come away from rancor,
Come the way of friendship.
It is the Glad Season.
Thunder ebbs to silence and lightning sleeps quietly in the corner.
Flood waters recede into memory.
Snow becomes a yielding cushion to aid us
As we make our way to higher ground.
Hope is born again in the faces of children
It rides on the shoulders of our aged as they walk into their sunsets.
Hope spreads around the earth. Brightening all things,
Even hate which crouches breeding in dark corridors.
In our joy, we think we hear a whisper.
At first it is too soft. Then only half heard.
We listen carefully as it gathers strength.
We hear a sweetness.
The word is Peace.
It is loud now. It is louder.
Louder than the explosion of bombs.
We tremble at the sound. We are thrilled by its presence.
It is what we have hungered for.
Not just the absence of war. But, true Peace.
A harmony of spirit, a comfort of courtesies.
Security for our beloveds and their beloveds.
We clap hands and welcome the Peace of Christmas.
We beckon this good season to wait a while with us.
We, Baptist and Buddhist, Methodist and Muslim, say come.
Peace.
Come and fill us and our world with your majesty.
We, the Jew and the Jainist, the Catholic and the Confucian,
Implore you, to stay a while with us.
So we may learn by your shimmering light
How to look beyond complexion and see community.
It is Christmas time, a halting of hate time.
On this platform of peace, we can create a language
To translate ourselves to ourselves and to each other.
At this Holy Instant, we celebrate the Birth of Jesus Christ
Into the great religions of the world.
We jubilate the precious advent of trust.
We shout with glorious tongues at the coming of hope.
All the earth's tribes loosen their voices
To celebrate the promise of Peace.
We, Angels and Mortal's, Believers and Non-Believers,
Look heavenward and speak the word aloud.
Peace. We look at our world and speak the word aloud.
Peace. We look at each other, then into ourselves
And we say without shyness or apology or hesitation.
Peace, My Brother.
Peace, My Sister.
Peace, My Soul.
Peace...
Bobasaur
Happy Thanksgiving!
November 28, 2005
I really enjoyed Thanksgiving Dinner at Clyde's this year with Paul, Daniel,
Clyde, Connor & Melinda. Unfortunately Connor had a bug which I got and I ended
up in the hospital by the following Sunday.
The best part of it all was the visitors... Clyde and Connor were there when I
had finally made it to the floor. Paul had been with me until I was admitted.
Lauren made the trip from Biloxi to visit. Ginny and Daniel were there to check
on me. Many of the staff, from triage, the nurses, to lab, I had worked with
until 2000 when I left Willie K myself.
All I have to get over now is all the steroids and the complications of Multiple
Sclerosis anytime you run a fever. Life is getting really complicated...
Sucks when you can't breathe!
Bobasaur
Homecoming a Reality
November 18, 2005

I
had to make a quick gallery addition (right hand column, top) of Paul's return
from Iraq. He's been home now since mid September and is busy getting ready for
school, de-mobilizing, out-processing from the guard, and coping with civilian
life.
I say coping because only he knows what we couldn't possibly understand of where
he's been and what he's seen. All I know is that there is deep turmoil under his
bright smile and quick wit and a desperate need for some serious relaxation,
away from even the modest events of daily existence.
I wonder if the other families have noticed how much their sons and daughters
have grown up, and if they too are experiencing the subtle differences in their
loved ones. Are they as for the war as they were when it all started? I know I'm
beginning to question things more, but I've always been for our troops.
Now the war seems so much further away than when Paul was there, and I know
those families who did not have to wait at home, wondering, probably don't give
it much thought either, except for all the political noise we hear daily in the
news.
All I know now is that the war is at home, and Paul is still fighting.
From the heart,
Bobasaur
Being Severely Tested
November 13, 2005
It's pretty late, or pretty early... depends on your perspective. I dug up "Court
and Spark" by Joni Mitchell for some warm and familiar backgrounds and have "The
Very Best of Cream" in on backup for some bite.

I
don't know what's got me in this mood but the phone doesn't ring at this hour
and I can get some work done. I never mind the phone if it's the kids.
Paul's been in and out making preparations for college, moving stuff in and
working around the house. He and Daniel took me to breakfast at Southfield Grill
on Veterans Day. Daniel is working at Books a Million and looking too good with
his mustache and goatee that all the girls that hadn't seen him since graduation
were swamping him at the ceremonies. Lauren missed it this year and was stuck at
Keesler AFB in Biloxi. I see her husband Clyde and grandson Connor regularly now
that they're here.
I haven't talked to Jennifer

since
she brought Bryce home from the hospital. Can you believe less than two hours of
labor? I know she's pretty busy with both of the girls and if she's smart she's
taking some time off from work. Here's a picture of my Newest Granddaughter
Bryce with my daughter Jennifer. Such beautiful children and grandchildren, all
of them. Riley is sure growing up too and in that magical world that only
children know. The next picture is my daughter Keely with my granddaughter Riley
at Keely's last birthday party. I managed to get Keely flowers a day early this
year...
Brooklyn will be 6 at the end of this month. That is hard to believe... Samantha's
new baby Landon is doing well and I know Sammie is glad to have Robbie back from
Iraq too. It was cool to have Robbie and Paul able to spend time together while
they were both over there. I remember catching Robbie climbing in Samantha's
window just years ago.
I don't know why all the kids are on my mind, but I always remember a quote from
John Lennon: "Life is what happens when you're busy doing other things."
God Bless Us All!
Bobasaur
Temporarily out of order
November 11, 2005

Due
to some changes at my web-host (and at no fault of the good folks that remain at
what used to be a superb ISP) the blog is temporarily broken. If you happen
across links that don't work or other features that have twisted-off you can
blame it on a corrupt database for reasons too technical to discuss at this time.
I'm absolutely thrilled just to be getting a word or two out!
There has been so much going on since the beginning of June that it'd be hard to
bring you completely up to date in this one post. I'm over my last episode of
the MS and no longer working with ShreveNet. Out of my original 18 gifted co-workers
only three remain. The rest of the company, after being sold to Nationwide
Internet (a division of MobilePro Corp), has been torn apart and the components
and employees in the wind.
Paul is back from Iraq and we are all so thankful. Grandma came into the office
today with tears in her eyes after trying to lift his flack jacket and noticing
the worn condition of the collar. Reality is getting a bit too real for Mom
these days...
Lauren is still in Biloxi after Katrina. Conditions brought Clyde and Connor
back to Shreveport to live.
...additions to this and more later.
Bobasaur